Archive for March, 2006

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Divine Divas of Blogsville - Curtain Raiser

Eight hours of excruciating pain are finally over. Yes, yes the exam was indeed eight hours long and covered almost every “logy” you could think of - histology, periodontology, embryology, pathology, pharmacology blah blah blah blah…at this point I just want to forget it all - atleast till the time I hear if I passed or failed! The first part was considerably easier than the second one, but then everyone felt the same so maybe we will all pass! Lets see kya hota hai.

Lets get to bigger and better things at hand! Let me rewind a few weeks, when I announced the Divine Divas of Blogsville. So what is it?

The idea for Divine Divas of Blogsville sprung up on International Women’s Day when I read numerous posts about women, the essence of being a woman, and just how different this world would be if there were no women. I emailed most of the ladies I know in blogsville and asked them a series of questions and I have received several replies. Several remain. I also emailed the gentlemen in blogsville asking them to write a few words about the lovely ladies they know. Mind you, these are the people I know. So I might have missed many wonderful women out there and by no means are they any less special. The idea is to highlight the different aspects of a woman, the different roles she can assume, and how each and every one has something different to offer. After reading the replies that I received, I must say I was pretty surprised at how applaudable each and every one is!

Sushmita Sen was asked one final question before she was crowned Miss Universe about 12 years ago: “What is the essence of a woman?” I set out to seek the answer myself. It is easy to answer but so hard to fathom. The essence of a woman lies in her versatility. Her power to lead, her strength to love unconditionally, her compassion, her stylish makeovers, her traditional dresses, her Wall Street jobs, her household chores, her irrational emotions, her extremely logical outlook on life, and so much more - all of these are the essence of a woman. Take a look around at the women you know, each one has her own little place representing one or more of these things.

I quote Shirley Chislom here - “The emotional, sexual, and psychological stereotyping of females begins when the doctor says, ‘It’s a girl’.” I am sure we all know very well what she means. I have no intention of preaching equality or being overtly feminist. I merely want to present to you a few very special women about who they are in their own words. These women have atleast one distinct quality that sets them apart from the rest. The goal is to discuss women, what womanhood means to them, and what it means to you gentlemen out there. Just a fun little event! We have a little quiz too. I will be asking one question at the end of each post and the person to get most questions correct will get a special prize. Some questions might pertain to one of you - so you will definitely know the answer. Don’t worry, you get free points :-D

Lets start off with our little curtain raiser about what you will hear from these women, and let me start it off.

Most of you know me as the girl from Utterances, and I go by Kaush. Whats in a name, they say? A lot, I know! I have been often mistaken to be a guy, especially in emails, online conversations; many a times I have gone to meetings, and have had honest queries as to why I am not a guy? I laugh it off, and generally don’t mind it. Supposedly, its more of a masculine name, but the female doctor at the hospital I was born at had the same name. So here I am.

A 20-something, I have been more of a rebel in most decisions I have made. I used to not understand why the guys in our society in Ahmedabad would play outside in the mud, while us girls stayed at home in the evenings playing “ghar ghar” with our barbie dolls. I love my dolls, but I also wanted to roll in the mud. There is one distinct event that I remember from that part of my childhood. I have no idea how old I was, but it was one of those evenings and I really wanted to play hop-skotch with the guys in the mud - most of whom are married now and probably dont even remember getting mad at me. So I went, and this guy said “chokrio thi naa rami shakaay” (girls cannot play). I screamed why not! One of the notorious guys said, “we eat mud, only if you eat mud.” Not to be left out, I stomped across to the play are where there was a bit of sand, took a little and put it in my mouth and chomped it off - smirking, showing them I wanted to play too. As luck would have it, my mom was just coming home from work and saw what her precious little angel (yea right) had done. She stormed towards me, shook all the bones within me, and slapped me hard! I was not supposed to eat mud. Gladly, she never said I was not supposed to play with guys. I did from then on. I had done it - my first rebellion. Just a random memory from childhood.

Spoiled rotten by my dad, for most of my childhood I got everything I ever wanted without even asking. I was probably the one where my parents got most training in child care. But things became hard for the family during my mid teen years. I grew up pretty fast in those years, and learnt a lot. Most people I know tell me I act too old for my age, but maybe its going through those hard times that taught me a lot. Moving to America taught me even more, so much that this blog would run out of space. I have been doing taxes for my family since then. Never was I reminded that I was girl, or I wasnt told to do something just because I was a girl. In fact, I was asked to do everything that traditionally a guy would do. I would whine but one day dad said, “thats coz you are not our daughter, you are our son.” I was elated. I did not know if I wanted to be happy because I was placed on the same high pedestal that sons are placed on in our society, where we are not just a transitory member of the family. Or, should I be ashamed that I hadn’t been that docile daughter that I should have been? I even asked, “why, a girl cant do the same things?”

Here is my query for the day, why do we usually stereo type certain roles to certain genders? Sure, thats normal. But when a guy cries we say ” you are such a girl” or when a girl is rebellious, she is a tomboy. So, aren’t guys allowed to have their emotions break free? or are girls not supposed to be outspoken, and confident? Its hard to run away from it, and its the way society is in general.

Here are two comments from three very different people, who know me in three very different ways (gemini hoon - gotta have twin personalities naa). I did not ask for it, but they were kind enough to boost my ego a little with their wonderful words.

Deepak: “one of my bestest friends in blogsville, fun loving and share the most comfy friendship - no hangups, no uptight behavior, casual…and can share any and every silly or profound joke or thought!” (you are da best DJ - and yes, I have put up with many such jokes! Sigh)
Ricky: ” How could I miss you…LOL. You are one of my first friends in the blog-world. You were also my first gujju friend (like ever). You are very passionate about your work which is always a good thing. Your work with NGOs in India is very inspirational. You are very out-going, fun-loving and geniune girl. You have a lot to look forward in life. You are a good friend.” (thanks ricky - atleast now your interest in gujju gals has gone up)
Vicky: ab aapke bare mein kya kahein. hehe.
good friend who is now gods knows where and god knows doing what.
amazing love story. :) (yea right Vicky - you know a lot about me! )

So ladies, brace yourselves - there is a lot of praise coming your way :D

Quote of the day: ” Men are taught to apologize for their weaknesses, women for their strengths.” ~Lois Wyse

Stereotype is word of the day. Your thoughts?

Quiz question: Who came up with the name “Divine Divas of Blogsville”?
Hint: Someone on my “Coffee Buds” list.
Email answers to utterances (at) gmail (dot) com by April 3rd with Subject line ” Q1″

If you have not received an email about this and would lik e one, email me and I will send you one. Slowly but surely :)

Posted by Utterly Me on Mar 28th 2006 | Filed in Uncategorized | Comments (141)

Updates and Apologies

I was going to publish a little curtain raiser post today about DDoB but decided that it would be best to postpone it until the end of this month. First of all, I provided several participants with a very short deadline and even then a few of you responded and I am very grateful for that but to make it fun, I would love to have everyone’s responses before I start, so I shall wait so that we all have more time. Second and more importantly, I have one exam looming in 10 days, even though it is just one it is very important..its my national boards for licensure. I apologize for the delay but it will be a whole lot more fun if I am able to give my full attention to DDoB. I have already prepared the quiz questions :) Once again, if you have not received an email, let me know and I shall send you one :) It will officially and for sure start on March 28, 10:00 pm EST :-D

Until then, I would like to introduce you all to my kitchen!!! Yes yes, I have had that blog for three months now but I never officially introduced it. There has been a link on the side bar for a long time but I just never mentioned it in a post. Some of you have made it there and have realized that its true to its name - my experiments with rasoi ;) ;). Do read the intro post.

So here’s presenting - My Experiments with Rasoi - Improvements, suggestions, and recipes WELCOME!

Another update: Pick of the week is back from Rediffblog days! Sometimes its pick of the “month” but ..y aknow ;)

Also, know how I have time and again written about my phone bill and how my dad always confronts me but never has taken the phone away? Well, I came up with another little song for the rising phone bills…yeh kab khatam hoge…sigh!

Main aur mere dad
aksar yeh baatein karte hai
phone ka bill kam hota toh kaisa hota

main yeh gaadi kharidta, tum woh dress kharidti
mere baal kuch zyaada hote, meri taal kuch kam hoti
main tumhaari phone usage se hairan hota
phone ka bill kam hota toh kaisa hota…..

main aur mere dad
aksar yeh baatien karte hai
yeh “B” hai yaa uska nasha tumhe hai
yeh baatein itni kyu hamesha hoti rehti hai
Reliance ka card itna kyu use hota hai
Ambanis ko tumhaari baaton se itna paise kyu milta rehta hai

Hai bill se mujhe shikayat
yaa B ki baaton se main hairaan hoon
Hai yeh bill kyu itna lamba
Iska tax return kya main bhar sakta hoon?

ye phone company ki fraud billing hai
ya Reliance phone cards ki koi trick
yeh pattiyo ki kyu hui sarsaraahat
mere kaano main phone ki bajti hai aahat

yeh sochte hai mere dad kabse gumsum
ke jabke unko bhi yeh khabar hai
ke B nahi hai…. kahi nahi hai
magar mera phone hai ki proof deta rehta hai
ke woh yahi hai..yahi kahi hai

Bill bharne ki ye aadat, meri bhi hai uski bhi
kadki thodi idhar bhi hai udhar bhi

baat karne ko bahot kuch hai par kaise kare hum
kab tak phone pe baatien karte rahe hum…
dil kehta hai reliance kabhi free bhi karvaade!
yeh phone ke bill jo badh rahe hai unhe katva de
hum saath main rehlete hai, dad ko bata de
batade ke haan humko mohabbat hai..mohabbat hai
aur yeh phone ke bill idhar bhi hai … udhar bhi

yeh kahaaan aa gaye hum, yunhi phone pe baat karte
apni baaton se hai jaanam,saade phone ke bill badhte
yeh kahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aa gaye hum…

Sigh.

Posted by Utterly Me on Mar 17th 2006 | Filed in Uncategorized | Comments (31)

Happy Holi and More

Holi Hai! These words are the highlight of March among Indians and here is wishing you all a very happy and colorful holi. Do enjoy it to the fullest.

Gone are the days when I used to go perform pooja at the holi bonfire and then play with colors the next day all day. Made gulaal filled water balloons and threw them from the 6th floor and musta have gotten numerous expletives addressed to me that I never heard :-D

This holi is different. I worked all day, studied, and here writing this post. Saw five greetings that B sent me. Its no fun celebrating holi without him. I mean even if I celebrate it with family and friends, it wont be the same - there will always be something missing without him. I absolutely cannot wait till we can celebrate holi together sometime, we have NEVER done that before. But then, we have not done a lot of things together yet. So while we were talking on the phone today, we decided that once we get married we will have a holi bash for family and friends each year. so there! thats one more reason for you guys to pray that we get married soon so you all can come celebrate holi with us ;-) Deepak, you keep the cokes errrrr bhaang ready ;)

I spent this past weekend visiting 6 states while spending atleast two hours in each. Yes yes, Noth carolina, Virginia, Maryland, Delaware, Pennsylvania, New Jersey and ofcourse District of Columbia :-) Going to NJ was accidental. We got lost driving in Philly and got onto Ben Franklin bridge, only to realize that we were in NJ as soon as we crossed the bridge! We had to pay the toll when we returned back to Philly. Yea what is UP with these tolls. There was a place where we had to pay $5 at a toll! Sheeeeez! Visited Philadelphia for the first time and it was a delight. Almost felt like mini-NY. Loads of stuff to do and very historical :) Must see place for all - will try to write details. Spent Sunday in Washington DC - my second time there. Not as exciting as the first one but very realxing. Walked outside GW Bush’s residence once again - sigh! He was in coz the flag was high up, took some pictures and left without seeing him. I am sure he was dissappointed!;);) However, the highlight of the DC trip was St. Patrick’s Day parade! It was a delight….I have some videos from there too. I will put em up soon. Until then, if you do not have Quicktime player, do download it coz you will need it to see the pics :)

Divine Divas of Blogsville — aaah where do I start?

All ladies and gentlemen out there have received an email. If you have not, let me know and I will send you one. A curtain raiser post shall be up this Friday. The little “event” will start Sunday and will be presented as a series of post every three-four days. There will also be a quiz and the winner shall receive a special prize - more details on that later.

One another note, my parents have not yet given the green signal for B and me (in case all of you were wondering). God knows when that will happen. Sometimes I think being busy is good for the both of us, because thats just less time to ponder over how hard it is without each other. On the flip side, after a long, busy day it would just be nice and a stress reliever to fall in the arms of the one and share the day’s happenings with him. Mera number kab aayega? Sigh.

Posted by Utterly Me on Mar 14th 2006 | Filed in Uncategorized | Comments (20)

A Celebration of Womanhood

It was a fiery June afternoon,
Please let it be a boy,
Please let it be a boy.
The stork was to come, soon!

It was the second time,
he already had a daughter.
Like the desert asked for water,
“a boy, a boy”, he would chime!

They said she did not cry much,
and brought a smile on his face,
When for the first time, he saw her decked in lace.
He wouldn’t need a boy, her radiance was such!

Two decades and still going strong,
He smiles because he knows -
Tt was a good thing, and the happiness shows.
A girl, he says, has proved him wrong!

He, once for all she did, called her “the son”.
She wouldn’t take it that way,
Daughter papa, NOT a son as you say…
For only a daughter can do what I have done!

***************************

The epitome of love and that of sacrifice,
For the happiness of others and there’s no vice.
With a strong head, and a commanding walk,
Everyone seeks to listen, when they talk.

They wake, and cook, and work till dusk,
Come home and clean and crack the husk.
The strength inherent, the power to lead,
They are the women of today, His best deed.

Yet, there are many - beaten each day
They wake, and cook and work in their hay.
Where is the respect that they deserve?
From the men whom they don’t forget to serve.

A girl is raped, killed, being succumbed to fantasies,
Yet the nation watches, seven years past the obscenities.
They have come a long way and yet a long way to advance,
They are the women of today, dignity is their stance.

A day, a week, a month isn’t enough to celebrate - said Pri
How true! Freedom and no strings should be the decree.
Her celebration of womanhood, I continue.
lets face it, if not for a woman - you wouldn’t have been you!

Posted by kaush on Mar 8th 2006 | Filed in The Muse, Opinions and Issues | Comments (24)