Its Finally Here: Meet the Parents!

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Right out of the oven, the hot news at Gujjupunju.com is that the Gujjus will finally meet the Punjus!!

I called B the usual time and first thing he said was “LISTEN!!!” I retorted with a just as loud “WHAT?!??”

“You dad just called, he said he is coming tomorrow morning! At 9:30 am! I dont have anything to wear, I haven’t washed my car, I haven’t even gotten anything for them, I thought they were coming over the weekend, we just moved, the furniture is not in place…and he said they are coming TOMOOOOOOOOOROOOOOOWWWW!!”

I say HA HA HA HA HA

Its easy for me to sit here and laugh at his plight. I told him I did everything possible, now its his turn! Jokes apart, as I write this my hands are cold and trembling. Tomorrow is a big day for all of us! Its decision day. If everything goes well, I will be officially off the market ;) I am a bundle of nerves, B is probably reduced to a bunch of neurons running helter skelter.Please Pray!

In less than 12 hours, here it comes…the day we have been waiting for….when the Gujjus meet the Punjus!

Random Memory

It was the summer of 2005 when I had visited di and jiju in Bangalore. Although I had been there before, this new Bangalore was nothing like it was in the winter of 1999. So much had changed in those years. The traffic, the people, the malls, the roads, the food…

The food! Ah! I was at the popular mall “Forum” one afternoon. Di and I had just finished watching Dus at PVR. Her little one was mighty troubled at not being fed for three hours, so she sat at a table in the food court and pulled that Gerber jar out. I left the happy ma and beta jodi in search of something to soothe my palate! As if my stomach growl was heard all the way in Gujarat, B called.

Me: Hello?
B: Hi sweetie! Whats up?
Me: I am hungry!
B: You wont believe it but I was about to snack on something. Am hungry too!
Me: (a little aloof, checking the menus out) yea okay
B: by the way
Me: uh huh…
B: one of my friends just got back from Bangalore and he said he had had something at a restaurant there that was real yummy. I tasted it and it was too good!
Me: (still checking the menus) What was it? Food? Dry hoga…it lasted through the journey?
B: arrey two hour plane ride…ofcourse it lasted
Me: oh okay
B: why dont you get it when you come here
Me: umm sure whats it called?
B: it was something like khormakala
Me: WTH? I have never heard of it..what in the world is it.
B: well its like a mixture of bhel and vada pav
Me: MF hussain ka abstract art suna tha…yeh abstract dish kahaan se?
B: no no its a Bangalore specialty..actually more kannada specialty, you HAVE to get it…ask your di..she must know for sure.
Me: where can I get it?
B: Now if I knew that wouldnt it get it myself?
Me: (a little too hungry) okay okay will get it..gotta order food now, I am really hungry! bye love ya

And thus began the search for this food item.I asked di and jiju, they had never heard of it: “we have been here only for a short time, must be some authentic dish…sorry dont know” Asked around in a few restaurants, but all in vain. For the first time, B had asked me to get something for him and I was not able to find it. Frustrated and sad, I called him.

Me: Honey, I just cant find it. Actually, I must have mis pronounced it..what is it called again
B: Khormaakaala…thats how its said.
Me: I cant find it..
B: (in a sulky tone): its okay…now you cant find it..so you cant..I have never asked you for anything before…just this one thing. They say the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.

And the sky came crashing down on me. The Punju had for the first time asked me to get something and I couldnt get it!

The day of my departure from Bangalore:

B: (excited) I am sure yuo musta gotten khormakala for me. You are just making it up so that you can surprise me
Me: Nahi sachi, I couldnt find it.
B: whatev, we will see when you get here

In Ahmedabad, after the best Pav bhaji ever!

B: so now for the grand finale, how about you muster up the khormakala. I am sure you will like it too.
Me: (teary eyed) I tried! I swear I tried but I couldn’t find it. I never got the chance to go to any specialty stores either. I am SOOOOOOOOOO sorry! Give me another chance. I will call up my friends who are actually from Bangalore, they will know for sure. I am SOOOOOOO sorry.
B: (looking away) Yea sure. Your friends will get it for me or what.
Me: Don’t be so mean. I said I am sorry. I tried. What the heck is khormaakaala anyway!

B did not say anything. We spent the whole day together. Him sulking and me feeling guilty about not being able to bring back this one thing he asked for. We spent the evening at Kankaria lake, joking, the tension finally subsiding. After a good joke when both of us laughed till we almost cried, I said.

Me:I am still sorry about khormakala. If you tell me what it was like I am sure I will be able to make it for you. What is khormakala?
B: (with a straight face) My love, khormakala is nothing compared to your love.
Me: No but I still want to know. I can make it for ya someday
B: (sighing) well if you MUST know! khormakala happens to be a figment of my imagination.

OH MY GOD!(imitating Janice from FRIENDS) You are dead the next time you mention khormakala!

B is still paying for it. Everytime there is or will be a conflict about where to go eat out, he will be reminded of the khormakala that never was.

A Cold Start

2007 has not exactly been my favourite year so far. Yes yes, its only been a measly 18 days!

I thought I was looking forward to the year being a great year on the personal and professional front, but I have realized one thing for sure in the past few days..and its the fact that nothing is permanent in this world except change. It seems some raahu-kaal has hovered over my family all of a sudden and has been the cause of several setbacks on the homefront one right after another. The flip side is that ma and pa are in India right now! They will be meeting B and his family soon. Hopefully, that will be the highlight of January 2007. Otherwise, I might just write this year off as a dull, unfair, sad, and LONG year!

Yup, I am in a bitter state of mind right now. So 2007 better get its act together and start being good or else Ms. Gujju is going to be a very upset and sulky lady!

Happy Birthday Punju!!!!

Once again, I kick off the New Year at the blog on a very special day! Special indeed because today is Mr. Punju’s birthday!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY sweety and here’s wishing you many many more birthdays filled with lots of love, laughter and happiness. I wish I was there to celebrate today with you, but I promise next year we shall be together on your birthday. By hook or by crook >:D<
As usual I have been late in sending the gift (some things never change) and it is on its way across the seven seas reaching you soon, the contents of which shall not be revealed to you! Have a blast today! Love you loads. Muah!

Because its B’s birthday, I thought I’d let him have all the glory today and reveal some things very few people know about him. And because he likes to make everyone around him laugh, I have rummaged through many joke sites to compile a few jokes! B is my ultimate joke encyclopedia. He is probably nodding as he is reading this. We will be talking about something really serious and out of nowhere, I sometimes will say, “tell me some joke.” The flustered guy will quickly scoot through the loads of old SMS’s and will always come up with something new! He calls it “B’s on site joke service” I utilize it for free ofcourse J Well here goes…

A few things you didn’t know about B

- His grandfather was originally from Lahore and moved to Delhi during the partition. He thinks the ancestral “kothi” might still be there.

- B does not like Shah Rukh Khan at all!!!!!! (Now to someone like me who is an SRK fan, this is just appalling!)

- He is a die-hard Amitabh Bachchan fan and loves all the good ol’ Dev Anand songs (favourite: gaata rahe mera dil)

- He fasts every Saturday, goes to the local temple, and only eats dinner after reading the Hanuman Chalisa ( did it in his teens and started again a couple of years ago)

- He wants to own a vacation home in Dubai someday.

- When we first met, he did not think I was Gujju at all! He thought I was probably from south india! (I never figured this one out)

- He worked at his uncle’s chocolate factory in his teens. Probably did not do much work but consumed a lot of the factory’s production. No wonder he picked a future dentist! Sigh.

- He’s had some mean looking cavities! Buahaha!

On to the jokes:

A man who was really behind in paying his bills finally recieved the following note from one of his creditors:
“Dear Sir, your account has been on our books for over a year. We want to remind you that we have carried you longer than your mother did.”

A young man asked an old rich man how he made his fortune.
The old guy fingered his worsted wool vest and said, “Well, son, it was 1932, the depth of the Great Depression. I was down to my last nickel.
“I invested that nickel in an apple. I spent the entire day polishing the apple and, at the end of the day, I sold the apple for ten cents.

“The next morning, I invested those ten cents in two apples. I spent the entire day polishing them and sold them at 5:00 pm for 20 cents. I continued this system for a month, by the end of which I’d accumulated a fortune of $1.37.

“Then my wife’s father died and left us two million dollars.”

A man was walking along a California beach and stumbled across an old lamp. He picked it up and rubbed it and out popped a genie.

The genie said, “OK, OK. You released me from the lamp, blah blah blah. This is the fourth time this month and I’m getting a little sick of these wishes so you can forget about getting three. You only get one wish!”

The man sat and thought about it for a while. Finally, he said, “I’ve always wanted to go to Hawaii but I’m scared to fly and I get very seasick. Could you build me a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive over there to visit?”

The genie laughed loudly and said, “That’s impossible. Think of the monumental logistics! How would the supports ever reach the bottom of the Pacific? Think of all the concrete! Think of all the steel! No, think of another wish.”

The man said OK, sat back down and tried to think of a really good wish.

Finally, he said, “I’ve been married and divorced four times. My wives always said that I don’t care and that I’m insensitive. So, I wish that I could understand women. I want to know how they feel inside. I want to know what they’re thinking when they give me the silent treatment. I want to know why they’re crying and know what they really want when they say ‘nothing’. Most of all, I want to know how to make them truly happy.”

The genie said, “SOOOOOOOO You want that bridge two lanes or four?”

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The lady at the post office whilst packaging and marking my gifts to B was making small talk : where is this going? Someone special? How long has it been? Blah blah..At the end of it all she said “Hopefully this will be the last birthday away.” Amen to that I say!