GujjuPunju.com

Shamelessly picked out from various sources. (Google Zindabad!)

1. Clean your hard drive to make more space.

2. Clean out the Internet history and cookies folders in the windows directory. Do it one file at a time with an Internet connection open so you can see where each goes and make sure you don’t delete any shortcuts you might want to use again.

3. Erase the passwords you stored in the logon preferences in your Outlook software. Don’t give up until you remember the password without calling customer support.

4. Clean out the windows directory temp file one file at a time. Open them all in notepad to be sure there’s nothing you want to save.

5. Install a hard drive.

6. Install a printer and try to get it to print envelopes and labels correctly.

7. Install a network.

8. Help your best friend fix her word processing program so it will print envelopes and labels correctly just like you made yours do (after 10 hours of trial and error).

9. Call customer support (any big company) for help on any matter.

10. Try to untangle the phone cords for your computer, telephone and answering machine and fax and then make all devices work again.

11. Clean off your desk (so you can find the floppy disk you need).

12. Clean out your filing cabinets in preparation for cleaning off your desk.

13. Clean out your CD ROM and floppy disk storage drawers.

14. Look for the manual that came with your computer.

15. Call customer support to find out IF a manual came with your computer.

16. Get and read your email.

17. Read JesseBerst. Follow all the links in all the side stories… then try to find your way back to the first page.

18. Check your favorite message board.

19. Create a home page.

20. Make changes in your web site.

21. Call your grandfather and try to explain what a home page is. Get in the car and run over to his house for help after he tells you about his new business venture: designing web sites for business.

22. Search the web for anything that comes to mind.

23. Shop for airline tickets online.

24. Compare the features of the new computer you bought two weeks ago to the new, improved model touted in the computer catalog that arrived yesterday.

25. Try to find a single file on your backup tape.

26. Completely back up your 10 gigabyte hard drive - onto zip disks or floppy disks.

27. Clean out the gook that’s accumulated between the keys on the keyboard.

28. Start working on the novel you always wanted to write.

29. Start working on that big project for work you’ve been putting off.

30. Set up Quicken or Quickbooks and add a year’s worth of accounting data.

31. Read your email again. There’s likely to be more mail.

32. Google something

33. Poke somebody on Facebook

34. Post something on a blog (like right here )

35. Read somebody else’s blog

36. Starbucks just feels absolutely inviting and you HAVE to have that tall Caramel Frappaccino

37. Decide the laundry just can’t wait.

38. Laugh at the computer screen in the library and then stealthily check to see if anyone is watching you amused.

39. Look at your vacation planner

40. Go out shopping, only to remember you have no money ..

41. Google “Ways to Procrastinate” and compile a list on your blog just so you could be productive.

Okay thats it. Stop with the eye rolling, tsk tsking. Back to being productive now. Really

It was the summer of 2005 when I had visited di and jiju in Bangalore. Although I had been there before, this new Bangalore was nothing like it was in the winter of 1999. So much had changed in those years. The traffic, the people, the malls, the roads, the food…

The food! Ah! I was at the popular mall “Forum” one afternoon. Di and I had just finished watching Dus at PVR. Her little one was mighty troubled at not being fed for three hours, so she sat at a table in the food court and pulled that Gerber jar out. I left the happy ma and beta jodi in search of something to soothe my palate! As if my stomach growl was heard all the way in Gujarat, B called.

Me: Hello?
B: Hi sweetie! Whats up?
Me: I am hungry!
B: You wont believe it but I was about to snack on something. Am hungry too!
Me: (a little aloof, checking the menus out) yea okay
B: by the way
Me: uh huh…
B: one of my friends just got back from Bangalore and he said he had had something at a restaurant there that was real yummy. I tasted it and it was too good!
Me: (still checking the menus) What was it? Food? Dry hoga…it lasted through the journey?
B: arrey two hour plane ride…ofcourse it lasted
Me: oh okay
B: why dont you get it when you come here
Me: umm sure whats it called?
B: it was something like khormakala
Me: WTH? I have never heard of it..what in the world is it.
B: well its like a mixture of bhel and vada pav
Me: MF hussain ka abstract art suna tha…yeh abstract dish kahaan se?
B: no no its a Bangalore specialty..actually more kannada specialty, you HAVE to get it…ask your di..she must know for sure.
Me: where can I get it?
B: Now if I knew that wouldnt it get it myself?
Me: (a little too hungry) okay okay will get it..gotta order food now, I am really hungry! bye love ya

And thus began the search for this food item.I asked di and jiju, they had never heard of it: “we have been here only for a short time, must be some authentic dish…sorry dont know” Asked around in a few restaurants, but all in vain. For the first time, B had asked me to get something for him and I was not able to find it. Frustrated and sad, I called him.

Me: Honey, I just cant find it. Actually, I must have mis pronounced it..what is it called again
B: Khormaakaala…thats how its said.
Me: I cant find it..
B: (in a sulky tone): its okay…now you cant find it..so you cant..I have never asked you for anything before…just this one thing. They say the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.

And the sky came crashing down on me. The Punju had for the first time asked me to get something and I couldnt get it!

The day of my departure from Bangalore:

B: (excited) I am sure yuo musta gotten khormakala for me. You are just making it up so that you can surprise me
Me: Nahi sachi, I couldnt find it.
B: whatev, we will see when you get here

In Ahmedabad, after the best Pav bhaji ever!

B: so now for the grand finale, how about you muster up the khormakala. I am sure you will like it too.
Me: (teary eyed) I tried! I swear I tried but I couldn’t find it. I never got the chance to go to any specialty stores either. I am SOOOOOOOOOO sorry! Give me another chance. I will call up my friends who are actually from Bangalore, they will know for sure. I am SOOOOOOO sorry.
B: (looking away) Yea sure. Your friends will get it for me or what.
Me: Don’t be so mean. I said I am sorry. I tried. What the heck is khormaakaala anyway!

B did not say anything. We spent the whole day together. Him sulking and me feeling guilty about not being able to bring back this one thing he asked for. We spent the evening at Kankaria lake, joking, the tension finally subsiding. After a good joke when both of us laughed till we almost cried, I said.

Me:I am still sorry about khormakala. If you tell me what it was like I am sure I will be able to make it for you. What is khormakala?
B: (with a straight face) My love, khormakala is nothing compared to your love.
Me: No but I still want to know. I can make it for ya someday
B: (sighing) well if you MUST know! khormakala happens to be a figment of my imagination.

OH MY GOD!(imitating Janice from FRIENDS) You are dead the next time you mention khormakala!

B is still paying for it. Everytime there is or will be a conflict about where to go eat out, he will be reminded of the khormakala that never was.